How do you know it’s over? When is it time to move on? These questions are even more difficult once a child is involved.
As a mom, and a child of divorced parents – asking myself these questions and actually following them through was an extremely difficult stage in my life. But the hardest part was after all the drama how to raise my child – psychologically, socially and mentally though the “aftermath”
Being a stubborn perfectionist, it was difficult to admit that I had failed at something… but then I chose to see it in a different light:
I may have failed at a marriage – but I would succeed in a divorce
Getting a divorce or even worse being a divorced woman in Lebanon is such a big taboo! I lost so many people I thought were friends … But in the end when all the dust has settled you can appreciate who stood by you and who didn’t.
But with all your personal drama do not forget that tiny hand that looks up to both you and his daddy. In the end motherhood and fatherhood are a privilege and not a punishment. Your child came into this world by the choices you and his father made – do not use them as a bargaining chip to hurt each other.
I am a child of divorced parents, I remember each argument, each insult my parents used against each other … But in the end I will and should always love and respect them equally – don’t forget that.
Take a deep breath and try to find a way past a conflict. Is it worth it? How will this affect my child? He needs both his mommy and daddy – if you make the first step your ex-spouse should follow.
Life is too short to always be angry – your little one will grow up too fast and you would have missed out on his childhood – something that a child needs to enjoy with you.
Now re-married with a baby daughter – my ex and I have joint custody of our son in a way that allows him to enjoy the best time from both sides. This was not a easy and is still not an easy journey for all of us but setting the priority that our son’s happiness is the most important thing – as in the end we are both good people and we made the decision to bring this child into the world.
Forget the superficial pain, insults, anger and hate you feel now … And look and find the deeper love you both have for this child. It’s difficult at times, but stay positive and stay happy as now is the time to enjoy being a super mommy.
Your child needs you … Find a way to be there!
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